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Anxiety of a Blackman


Do you know what it is like to be born with a target on your back? A stigma associated with the pigmentation of your skin. Just because you are Black you are a threat. When walking to the store to buy iced tea and skittles get you killed. When you put your hands up and still get shot. When you are riding with your family and during a traffic stop you proceed to tell the officer you are legally armed and still get shot. When you can be in the house minding your business and they bust through the door and just shoot you. When you can be going for a jog in broad daylight and get haunted like an animal. When you yell, I can’t breathe, and the life is still choked out of your body. When you watch a black person murdered out of pure hate and there is no justice, and no one is held accountable. When you can go to jail for killing a dog or a bird or mistreating an animal because they have rights. Yet it’s ok to kill an unarmed Blackman. Being black is being guilty until proven innocent. Being black is when you walk inside of a store and they automatically think you are going to steal or cause trouble. Being black is also being hated or hating your own brother because that’s what was taught.When the term acting black is used to say you are acting ignorant. You are expected to be strong and endure the pain despite all the odds stacked against you. Its like running a race with shackles on and are giving many rules to follow and giving a late start and the lane hasn’t been paved. The person you’rerunning the race against is free to run with little to no rules and their lane is paved. Imagine you with the shackles on everyone still expects you to finish first. Then while you are losing your cheering section start throwing rocks verbally beating you because you are not winning but you are giving your all. Being black is when you give your all and it can still not be enough. We all know what the problem is it has been the same one haunting us for many many years, but we have yet to find a solution. The questions haunt me am I next? Are one of my 3kings I am raising just going to be another hashtag or something we march about? It all sucks because I didn’t choose to be black that’s just an honor I was born with. As the list grows and nothing gets done it creates a sense of anxiety because it leaves you to worry what is next. We scream black lives matter and they respond all lives matter yeah true but how if blacks are still marching for equality and justice? Let’s not forget the names: Trayvon martin, Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, Oscar Grant, Freddie Gray, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Sean Bell, Eric Gardner, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. The sad part about that. That’s not even half the people. May your souls rest in peace and your names forever be symbol of a broken system that’s needs to be changed.

From my Heart to your Heart

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