Updated: Jul 21, 2021
Something I always wondered was why does it take something tragic to happen for people to appreciate life? We all know the only thing in life that is a guarantee is death. Even knowing that we live like we got forever. We take life for granted then the moment something happens and someone dies it’s like Oh shit. It’s like running dead smack into a brick wall. Life just stops. Yeah we all understand that death is a part of life. It’s the thought of never being able to speak to that person again or it’s the great memories you made and never being able to share another memory again. It might be the way that person was there for you or the love they gave you and never feeling that feeling again. That's what makes that such a tough pill to swallow and damn near impossible to digest. It’s one of the harshest realities we face.That sometimes you never fully understand and can come to terms with. It's also an instant reminder that one day that’s gonna be you. Unfortunately for me I lost quite a few friends in the streets. Some I was close to, some we were just cool and some off of association. After a while you become numb to that feeling. You definitely don’t fear it because you start flirting with death almost every day. I guess that’s what they mean when they say we are living the fast life. Everything comes fast, the money and also death. So as long as it isn’t you you gotta keep going. At least that’s what I thought. Everyone deals with things differently and mourns differently. For the most part I like to push it to the side and choose to only deal with it when I’m by myself. Oftentimes I create distractions. I do that because when I think about the ones I lost I usually get really angry because life is not supposed to be that way. We are not supposed to Die young, we are supposed to grow old and die or die of sickness or diseases. Not because someone is scared to lose a fight or threatened by you. Not because we had a disagreement or jealousy. It’s so many senseless stupid reasons. The what could have been always gets me so I choose not to think about it. I recently had a situation happen and I couldn’t do anything but face it. February 10 got to be one of the worst days of my life. My best friend, my brother we called each other, twins Raymond Metze most know him as Tmac, took his own life. I will never forget when I got the call I was driving. It was a green light and I slammed on brakes in the middle of the street. On a busy boulevard. Cars began blowing the horn. For a second the world froze. There was no way this could be true. I just talked to him the other day. I got off the phone and immediately started calling his number. Of course no answer. Then I got the call from his blood family and it was confirmed. My chest caved in. I had no air in my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. This time it was no one to blame, there was no revenge I could get. He checked himself out. He made it his time to go. I couldn’t understand why I started thinking about the last two conversations we had. Then it hit me that maybe he was warning me? Or crying out for help and I chose to ignore it. So with nobody to blame I started to blame myself for not being there for my brother to help him fight those demons. Going to visit in South Carolina and not seeing him. Even though I tried and we would just miss each other. He would be one place I would be another. We would always say catch you next time. Next time never came.I felt like I had time. We would eventually be able to connect. We would just have a lot to catch up on.The chance never came. We did talk often on the phone but I would have loved to have just kicked it one more time with my brother. Cracking jokes, enjoying life. After his death I fell into a deep depression that I’m just starting to come out of. I took life and time for granted and it cost me big time. That’s something I will never do again. It’s sad after everything I've been through. It took his death for me to stop taking life for granted. A piece of me will always feel like I could have saved him. So after all the dark sleepless nights after all the tears. I started venting as if I were talking to him. I would say Things like why you gave up? It could have gotten better just because things were bad doesn't mean it wasn’t gonna get better. After months I began taking my own advice. I told myself to stop wasting time. I finally finished my book which my brother used to stay on me about and with the book being released next month and projecting to do really well. When I earn the bestselling author It was for both of us. My success will forever be both of our success. I hope it don’t take anything like that again for me to stop taking life for granted. I hope you can read this and think to yourself. What is that thing you are procrastinating about? If you were to be in your final moments would you die with regret if you didn’t get to finish that task or reach that goal you wanted to reach? If the answer is yes you would have regretted not achieving that goal. My suggestion would be to go after it give it everything you got to achieve whatever it is you want out of life because remember life is only temporary.
You are not getting another life. Don’t wait for something tragic to happen,a near death experience or someone dying for you to stop taking life for granted.
From my heart to your heart
JD the author